I think i peed on brittanys purse
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
