my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
