just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize