Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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