sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
