Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize