i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
