My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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