you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
