No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
