Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
