I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
