girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
