I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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