What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
