I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
