I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
