mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
