you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize