i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize