Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Randomize
