I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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