i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
