the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize