Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Operation Purity has been aborted
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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