Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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