dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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