Need sex. Gaining weight.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
