At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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