Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My ass is underappreciated
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
