HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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