I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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