Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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