Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
