Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
