don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
