Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm too high and old for this...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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