Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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