dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
