One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
