Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Randomize
