Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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