She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
