dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
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If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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