Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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