Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
