Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
