I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
