I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
