Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
