We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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