Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
