so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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