I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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