didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Soap is not a condiment
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
