I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Drake has all the answers
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize