just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
