My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
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Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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