she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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