I wanna bring you to show and tell
We're facebook friends in real life
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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