You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
