Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize