I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
